Jun.19.2010
3:37 pm
by Laura
Lessons from a Documentary
Last week I read this story about eight things straight people can do that gay people cannot do. And then I listened to this radio show about GLBT teens and surviving high school as a non-straight student or teacher. There are thousands of communities in the United States where people can be fired for being gay or where it’s illegal to say anything positive about homosexuality in a school situation. Both reminded me of the special place my corner of California is - a place where discrimination is, for the most part, illegal and where it’s easier to be openly gay.
Then, last night, I watched 8:The Mormon Proposition and rode the emotional rollercoaster one more time as I watched friends, acquaintances and strangers describe the elation they felt when they were able to marry and the despair that came when they realized their marriages were being voted on – and voted on negatively – by my friends and neighbors. And I wondered if California was really as nice as I’d been hoping.
The movie shares the now-familiar (to me) stories of LDS Church leader involvement; of the massive amounts of money, volunteers, leadership and organization my Church and its members provided to the campaign; the old stories of electric shock and surgical treatments for homosexuals in Provo; the continuing stories of rejection, homelessness and suicide; and the familiar strains from the likes of Gayle Ruzicka and Chris Buttars. I read the infamous quotes about homosexuality from former church leaders and I relived the experience of sitting in a church building hearing and watching latter-day apostles describe in detail how to run a political campaign.
While the movie’s treatment of some of these issues was over the top (I’ll address these in another post), I found myself wondering at the end what positives could possibly come from these sometimes painful memories? What can we learn from this so we don’t have to live through it again? I can’t help it, it’s my nature to search for lessons from life’s struggles. And this is what I came up with.
So what could we take away from this movie?
First: Learn, Use and Teach Critical Thinking Skills. This is especially important when people are telling you that you will lose basic rights guaranteed by the Constitution, or when people are telling you that if you do/don’t do something the way they advise you to, society as we know it will crumble to pieces.
Second: Don’t be afraid to stand alone. If something seems too good (or too bad) to be true, step back from the crowd and tell them it doesn’t seem right. If you’re the only one speaking, keep speaking until somebody listens.
Third: Speak Up. For every person who is willing and able to speak out, there are dozens, if not hundreds, who cannot do so. If you are in a safe place and do not speak out on behalf of your brothers or sisters who would be risking their lives or livelihoods if they were to speak out, you are letting them down.
Fourth: Show Respect. No matter what you think of the people who are not standing with you, show them respect. Don’t poke fun at their beliefs or prejudices. The most persuasive arguments begin with common ground and bridge-building. Attacks result only in hardening the defenses and increasing fear and misunderstanding.
Filed in Uncategorized, gay, prop 8 |
Have yet to see the movie but will be seeing it with my son when it opens in SF (June 25th). I really appreciate this post of yours and know that I will be having some of those same feelings.
Sheryl
I like your take-aways and have tried to live by them myself. I’m fortunate to live in a very diverse ward in DC which comprises people from many political viewpoints and opinions on civil marriage equality.
When legalization was under consideration, we had a most un-Californian experience: only one very brief, very veiled reference from the 1st counselor in the Bishopric was made during opening announcements in a sacrament meeting that the issue was going to be voted on by the City Council shortly. We were encouraged to study the issue and express our sentiments to our elected representatives. I know I’m not the only one who did just that, voicing my support for the measure, which passed overwhelmingly.
As I told the Fox News interviewer after having held my “I am a Mormon for Marriage Equality” sign at the rally on the eve of the Council vote, it took strength and courage for me to come that night. But I knew it was important to show other Marriage Equality supporters that I, along with many Mormons, respectfully disagreed with our Church’s actions and supported them in their pursuit of justice.
Respectful discourse based on critical analysis of the issue has led me to many positive discussions with Mormons and non-Mormons, and none of these have left me feeling estranged from these people, even when we’ve expressed very different opinions. Along the way too, I think it’s helped give courage to others to stand.
One of the basic tenets of the LDS Church is “Perfecting the Saints.” I am a convert and felt the internal struggle of an issue that promoted conflict. In this instance, is the perfection of the saints being distorted to mean assimilation? The eternal family is linked to the temple and not to any law or definition. Those sweet and private moments are what define marriage and family.
As I watched friends and neighbors grow hostile and contentious I wondered and still ponder if this is the Christ-like model we are supposed embody in our daily lives.
I truly appreciate the comments about “positive discussions” and “critical analysis” and that bridge-building is the way to make progress. Bravo! However, I can not support a religion and lifestyle (culture and doctrine) that draws an indelible line that can not be crossed. When I look at the teachings and ministry of the Savior it is not consistent with this sort of sweeping intolerance.
Our families are in trouble. Yes. But not because of gay marriage. Over half our marriages are ending in divorce, children are left to raise themselves, people are self-absorbed and preoccupied. And very few people want to exercise true compassion.
Sadly, this is not an issue I can separate from the other teachings of the church and cheerfully move on with my life. My stand is to sit out and try to meditate and pray quietly without the noise of a political agenda pulsing through my attempt at a life.