Joshua is an active Latter-day Saint in the San Francisco Bay Area. In 2009, he was sealed to his spouse in the Oakland temple and currently serves in his ward’s Elder’s Quorum Presidency. In 2007, he came out as a gay Mormon. He discusses the challenges of a mixed-orientation marriage in light of the fight for gay rights and suggests ways to support both same-sex and mixed-orientation couples.
Life has a way of happening. Regardless of what you might plan for your life, there are always unexpected turns. Often, these turns are not what you would have chosen for yourself. Notwithstanding, I have learned that God has a much greater plan for me than I could ever imagine. If I only be patient and put my trust in God, He will direct my path and make more of my life than I could have done on my own.
One of the first unexpected turns was becoming an openly gay Mormon, fully dedicated to serving the Lord and following his prophets. I came out to my ward in a sacrament meeting talk over the pulpit. I had no role model to follow. For much of my life I had thought that gay people didn’t belong in the church. I pretended to be straight for many years, because Continue Reading »
Mitch Mayne is a gay Latter-day Saint living in the San Francisco Bay Area. He originally shared this story as part of a group of meetings in the Oakland and Walnut Creek, California Stakes. He is currently writing a book about his experiences growing up as a gay Mormon, and this writing will appear in his book.
You know who I am. You have sat next to me in meetings. You have greeted me with warmth when I’ve come to church. You have heard my voice in prayer.
Yet, I wonder how many of you would treat me less kindly if you knew the truth of who I really am. I wonder if you would judge me—however mildly, however inadvertently, however silently.
Being honest about who I am has seldom led to a positive outcome. In my home, my father told me that my being gay was his ultimate fear, and my ultimate failure. My mother told me it would have been better for her if I’d been born dead than gay. Growing up, I was scorned on the playground, and ridiculed and bullied in the classroom. I have been fired from jobs because I am gay. At times, even though I had done nothing that would have disqualified me, I have been told by Church leaders that I am unworthy of ever taking the Sacrament. I have been told Continue Reading »
A quiet morning at the park. A candle is lit, and then another. The scent of roses and early morning among the redwoods fills the air. A voice sings through the dimness. Another joins. A chorus of harmonies swells and then dissolves to silence as a speech is given. Time to remember. Time to pray. Time to love. Time to rejoice in the dawn of a new day, a new life, a new acceptance. Blessed Jesus, grant them rest; grant them everlasting rest:
For those of you planning to join us in person as we remember Stuart Matis Thursday morning, here are all the logistical details (directions, map links, weather info, etc.) you’ll need. Looking forward to seeing you there!
Much of the work we’ve tried to do here at Mormons for Marriage involves communicating. More than just talking at each other and past each other, we’ve tried to come together and share our stories and listen, really listen, to others. Those respectful discussions have fostered growth and new experiences and friendships and have opened the doors to greater understanding, tearing down walls of prejudice and fear.
In the pre-dawn hours of February 25, 2000, gay Mormon Henry Stuart Matis made his way to the LDS Los Altos Stake Center on Grant Road. Stuart had a gun in his hand and a “Do Not Resuscitate” note to pin onto his gray sweatshirt. Police found his body on the steps of the church building at 7:30 a.m. where the sun dawned on a new morning of mourning, first for family and friends and then for a much larger community as Stuart’s story spread in the days before California’s first referendum on banning gay marriage – a ban supported and funded by Stuart’s fellow Mormons.
While some would try to separate Stuart’s suicide from his religion and its involvement in same-sex politics, Stuart threw himself into that spotlight by choosing a symbolic location for his death, writing that he could not choose between his life and his church. That location at that time became a rallying point for Mormons and non-Mormons alike. And it very publicly raised the bar in a problem that continues to hurt the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Continue Reading »
So, there’s this little trial going on in San Francisco’s Federal Court house this week. Justice Vaughn Walker is hearing arguments as to whether one of the latest provisions in California’s constitution - the one enacted by Proposition 8 - infringes upon the federal rights of gays and lesbians who wish to marry.
Hearings began last week with great anticipation as the trial was to be the first federal court case in the West which allowed cameras in the courtroom. A last-minute request to the Supreme Court Continue Reading »
The California Attorney General released its report on Hate Crimes in California in 2008. It has some interesting statistics which are likely of interest to folks following accusations of violence, intimidation, assault, vandalism, etc. related to the Proposition 8 debates.
Overall, hate events in California were down 2% from 1,426 in 2007 to 1,397 in 2008. There can be multiple hate crime offenses in each hate crime event, and offenses were also down from 1,931 to 1,837 (4.9%). There can also be multiple victims in each reported hate crime, and those numbers, too, were down from 1,764 in 2007 to 1,698 in 2008 (3.7%). Fewer people were committing hate crimes in 2008 as well – the number of suspects decreased nearly 10% from 1,627 in 2007 to 1,473 in 2008.
Despite the overall decrease in hate crimes, both anti-gay and anti-religious hate crimes were up.
The most common type of hate crimes in both 2007 and 2008 were Continue Reading »
Salt Lake City’s Mayor and City Council are considering a couple of ordinances which would ban discrimination in housing and employment based on sexual orientation or gender identity.
The ordinances in question would both ban discrimination and provide a mechanism whereby individuals may file grievance claims.
An LDS Church spokesman, Michael Otterson, spoke in favor of passing the non-discrimination laws, calling them,
“fair and reasonable and does not do violence to the institution of marriage. It is also entirely consistent with Continue Reading »
Here’s a note about some events happening throughout the San Francisco Bay Area (and the rest of California) right before the election. There’s stuff in Utah as well, which we’ll announce a bit later.
At the one year anniversary of the passage of Proposition 8 Continue Reading »
